Day #20 | Rare angry moment

Today has been a weird day. Woke up and went to the gym as usual. Even received some good news that had a positive impact on my day.

Then something happened. I basically fucked over and disrespected.

I’m not going to go into detail on what the situation was or how since it is too personal. But I will go into how I tried to resolve it.

Being mad are rare moments for me and since it only happens roughly once a year.

I couldn’t work or focus on my tasks. Didn’t even wanted to speak to anyone. There was also a lot of noise caused my complex is being renovated. That didn’t help either.

Anger is an emotion that is the precursor of violence. You just want to break some things physically or mentally. Anger also makes you lose control of the situation and yourself.  You get urges to curse, be disrespectful, or even act violently. To get back in control of your emotions is hard.

I wanted to get out of this state. I told myself to stop being angry. I know the reasons why I am angry, but ignore it for now.

So I stopped working and started to do nothing. Literally doing nothing, just sitting or laying on my bed.  I didn’t want to think or move in any way. Any thought that came to me, I would try to ignore it. Similar to meditation I tried to focus only on my breathing as well

This calmed me down. I gained back control to a certain degree. Then I proceeded to do my tasks as usual. Accomplishing tasks and seeing progress made me calm down even more. When I’m working I tend to focus on one thing so ignore the others.

From there, I got calmer and calmer. Still. The anger doesn’t go away completely. It lingers around and around till you go to sleep. But the main thing is that I can still complete most of my tasks.

All in all, I’m a bit happy that anger didn’t make me do stupid things. Some may not know, but I was emotionally unstable when I was young. So I’m extremely glad that I learned and grew up to be a calm person.

There are different levels of being angry, but to calm myself down, I try to do nothing and be alone as much possible.

Then I prevent myself from doing stupid in a state where I’m prone to.